2002-2005 News
Articles are in reverse orthogonal order

Some Say Aye

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 10:39:35 -0400
Subject: Old and New Business

Gentlemen, good morning. Let me start this delayed newsletter in reverse order. I would like for all of you to call fellow runner and club member Joe Schletty and wish him well on the upcoming Paavo Nurmi marathon in Hurley Wisconsin. Brother Schletty will be the only member of the Bush runners representing the club at the marathon on Saturday, so run proud and God speed. Next thing, the summer meeting went well with many things accomplished.

Here are some of the highlights from said meeting. In a swift move from the floor of the meeting room Andy Gubash was granted membership in the club with only having run a 10K. Just as quickly, that move was vetoed by your President and the club was kept a pure marathon club. Moments later and motion was made to allow Andy membership on the premise that he finish a marathon in a 5 year duration and that said marathon be completed in under 6 hours. If brother Gubash fails to comply with the rules set forth by the tribunal he will owe a small snippet to all club members of 50 dollars each. So good luck to you, Andy, and welcome to this prestigious club.

Also discussed and motioned carried forward was the new rule about taping all official quarterly meetings along with the annual gala for the President at years end. Also there was a motion to have a court reporter present to record the minutes of every meeting, we got side tracked and I don’t remember where we left that one, I think we tabled that one till the next meeting.

Lastly I would like to congratulate myself for winning the “My Favorite Marathon Contest”. I think everyone would agree it was well deserved and well written spellbinding and good. Thank you, and look for a note on when the next meeting will be held………………..J.A.M.

Cheese Curd Run

From: Mike, Joe
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 3:02 PM
Subject: Cheese Curd Run

Gentlemen, Saturday’s cheese curd run was an exceptionally huge success! The day was crisp and clear and the race course was spelled out to us by the race director personally prior to the civil war gun being shot to signal the start of the race. The Bush runners running were; Joe Schletty, Joe Mike, Paul Gubash was the handler while he recovers from a knee injury and offered moral support. Charter member Andrew Mike also was running his first official race. As the gun sounded we took off like a pack of crazed dogs, Andrew could be seen pushing and shoving near the front of the pack, we will have to work on his running etiquette, anyway something went terribly wrong as the front runners took a wrong turn and veered off course , with the rest of the pack following we ended up getting lost and running 9 miles instead of 6.2. One frantic race official near the finish line was heard to say over the walkie-talkie “ we have $#@$$#@$ runners finishing from 3 different directions! Andrew crossed the finish line first and was quite pleased that he could run 9 miles without stopping. Joe Mike was next in total disbelief that it took him so long to run a 10k, and then came Joe Schletty walking the last several yards in protest while looking at his watch and shaking his head. Without joining the group Mr. Schletty walked away in search of some well deserved water, but to add insult to injury he came back with a cup of chocolate mike and some raw cheese curds! After things settled down and we found some water, Walt convinced Mr. Schletty that he actually got more for his money and told him he knew of a place we could get a cold beer and a hot bratwurst. Andrew won a medallion for taking 2nd in his age group so he had that going for him “which is nice”. As we left the race area we made the race directors day by yelling at him “see you next year”………………. Your President J. A. Mike………

Grandmas Marathon is history...now what?

From: Mike, Joe
Sent: Tuesday, June 22, 2004 1:58 PM
Subject: Grandmas Marathon

My Fellow Running Buddies, Grandmas Marathon 2004 is now in the history books. The Bush Runners were well represented at this fine event. Here are the chip times, John Wenker 3:36:45- Joe Mike 4:15:58-Joe Schletty 4:24:44.The weather was windy (head wind) but temps. were cool for most of the race. The next event will be this Saturday at the Ellsworth Wisconsin Cheese Curd Fest 10k. Since there is virtually no chance Jonh Wenker will be there, I will hold on to the Golden Shoe till this weekend and award it to the winner. Be looking for an announcement for an upcoming runners club meeting, place and time to be announced, and always remember when at race events and post race ceremonies that you are represenitive of this fine organization. Be discreet when looking for discarded beer tickets and never dumpster dive. Thank you ; J. A. Mike

Med City Marathon's "Galute in the Bush"

From: Mike, Joe
Sent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 4:12 PM
Subject: Med City Marathon

My Fellow Runners, the marathon in Rochester last Sunday was not a good one for your president! My time of 4:37:20 was a big disappointment as I expected to fair much better. The weather was humid as the sun came out and the temps were on the rise.We will move forward and set our sights on Grandmas. Joe Schletty used Sundays Marathon as a training run for grandmas completing 18 miles in strong fashion. Mr. Schletty had so much energy left that he tried to hide in the bushes with the hopes of scaring me into believing that he was reeling me in, but I saw the big galute and spoiled his fun. Thank you …………Your President

Resurfacing from Wisconsin to Alaska

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Tue, 11 May 2004 10:46:10 -0400
To: <>
Subject: Eagle River Marathon

Good afternoon runners,

Hats off to Joe Schletty and his performance at the Eagle River Marathon in northern Wisconsin this past weekend. Joe turned in a blistering time of 4:22:00. It is quite obvious that with Joe finely taking his running seriously again, he still has some good marathons left in him. Let’s all feed off brother Schletty’s accomplishment and move forward as a group.

Next thing: Larry Mike's expedition to Alaska was a huge success! First of all, he made it back home in one piece and I think he brought some fish with him. We will all be looking forward to hearing the stories of high adventure from him as we eat his halibut. Welcome home, old boy – now get back on the road!

This weekend's training run has yet to be scheduled but will be announced as soon as it is finalized.

Thank you,
your President………….

Emergency Meeting and Halibut Fest

From: Mike, Joe
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 1:41 PM
Subject: Its better in Wayzata

Good Morning, Let me just start by saying what a great race the bush runners had Sunday in Wayzata. It was a perfect day and the 3 iron men ran hard then celebrated their successes. The half marathon times were as follows, Joe Mike 2:01:30, Joe Schletty 2:04:30 (unofficial), and Walt Gubash a very strong 2:12:08. All of the monsters of the Flatbush are on schedule for their appointment with destiny in Duluth. Next thing, Since Johnny came to the emergency meeting and was a very active participant , I am going to go ahead and remove his negative points in the race circuit standings,” Welcome back old boy”. All runners are to be aware of a special communiqué form Larry about upcoming emergency meeting and halibut fest at his place. There will be a 1 week break from the Saturday morning Bush run so some members can Turkey hunt. Good luck to the hunters. All club business will be put on hold until their return. Joe Schletty will be participating in the Eagle River marathon in Wisconsin this weekend. Would you please call him and wish him well? Here are the current point standings, Joe Mike-12, Jew Schletty-10, Paul Gubash-8, Ben Milke-4, Rich Schletty-3 Bern Mike-3, Larry Mike-1 and Johnny W. 1. Thank you and good running

Give "Lumpy" a Break

From: Bernie Mike [mailto:bernie@harburn.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:54 AM

Weggie,
Give "Lumpy" a break. Why should he spare me as he continues to butcher the English language. The brut is is good entertainment. He makes me laugh. He also is backing it up on the road...thanks to NWA. You better kiss his are-slock for pushing you when you log your first sub 4 performance at Grannies. Stay healthy, and out of the hospital...
Bernhardt

Larry should be docked points

From: "Schletty, Joseph J"
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2004 10:13:55 -0500
Subject: RE: Training Run/ Meeting

Mr President,

With all due respect ……the 34th Semi-annual Spring Expo and Education Forum did not in fact go on schedule! Your irresponsible brother Larry caused it to be delayed by an hour, even though the extra time for the happy hour and the “Get To Know Me Social” softened the blow. I think Larry should be docked points for his tardiness and John Wenker be awarded them. John went over and above the call of duty Friday evening. It was good seeing him. I’m not real sure though what the hugging was all about. By the way, Mr President, I can’t believe you don’t even know how to spell your own brother’s name. Barnerd should be pissed at you. But knowing him, he’s not pissed …. he’s happy. Other than that ...........…keep up the good work and keep your chins up.

Advisor and Pubic Relations Director,
Joe Schletty

"No Runner Left Behind Act" Passed

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2004 10:50:57 -0400
Subject: Training Run/ Meeting

My fellow runners,

Friday's 15 mile training run was a huge success! The three iron men completed the distance with no problem and, in fact, using a quote from Bernerd, "We all had reserves left." Richard joined the group on the second loop and was an inspiration to all, especially as he sprinted the last half-block at 87% of his top speed (which is 78% of his youthful speed).

Next thing, the 37th annual spring conference and training seminar at the president's garage went on schedule and many things were accomplished. The new No Runner Left Behind Act was passed by the majority and all agreed it was long overdue. The BBQ after brought the club together and moved us forward.

I am looking forward to seeing all the members at the Minnetonka half marathon on Sunday morning to offer their support.

Thank you, your president............

Hurt Runs Deep but Time Will Heal

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 15:54:51 -0400
Subject: RE: On going negotiations

The call to strike will not go away with a simple extension of the olive branch! This is something that runs deep and takes time to heal. You, Larry, my friend, will still be brought before the military tribunal and subsequently made to drink from the hot damn. Ask Bernard how much he enjoyed it when he drank it – it straightened him right out. You best come around with your hat in your hand! Bring treats..................

President Joe Mike

Healing the Inner Sole with Running

From: Larry Mike
Reply-To: Larry Mike
Date: 22 Apr 2004 11:04:03 -0500
Subject: Heal the wounds

ATTENTION, ATTENTION! All runners, it is imperative that you take note of the following message. The general strike of the Bush Runners Club has been called off! Last hour mediations took place all night. As a result the general strike that was supposed to begin Friday night at 8PM has been canceled. Our president, Joe Mike has agreed to terms related the events leading up to the strike vote. Instead there will be a 15 mile run with a healing meeting afterward. Bishop Pickering will be the keynote speaker. His topic will be Healing the Inner Sole with Running. Hey Bishop, can you fix the sole of my shoe? I think the overture by our president is generous and gracious. It will do this club a great service if the assembledge comes together for a night of healing and thought. Additional reflections by Mother Bastile historian, Art Linkvowel.

Thank you, Mr. President. For all those who received strike signs and strike fund money from the Cherokee State Bank, please turn them in Friday night.

The Committee for a Better Run.
Cab Calloway

Are You With Me or Again Me?

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 09:36:48 -0400
To: <>
Subject: Friday Evening Run/Emergency Meeting

My fellow Runners, The long run this week will take place on Friday evening departing from the Bush at 4:30 for a 15 mile training run. I would like to invite all members to attend and run all or parts of this run. Next thing: there will be an emergency meeting following the run at 8:00 at your president’s house. This is a mandatory meeting and all members must attend. On the agenda for this meeting will be discussion on the new running initiative and also we will discuss contraction. There will be refreshments served after the close of official business, parliamentary procedures will be enforced. Thank you and looking forward to visiting with you, your President……………………………. Joe Mike

Strike the Club!

From: Larry Mike
Reply-To: Larry Mike
Date: 20 Apr 2004 16:34:49 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Bush Run

Fellow club members,

I was involved with saving the runner in trouble that fateful day at Grama's. This particular runner was passed up by none other than our president, Joe Mike. As he passed this runner he asked if he was OK. The stricken runner said no he wasn't doing well. Joe Mike simply said oh that's too bad. If I hadn't stayed with the disabled runner who knows what may have happened that fateful day. This is the kind of individual we have running this club.

At this time I am asking for an overall strike of the running club. I ask all members to not run for up to 36 hours. This is the only way we can bring this club back into line. Join me in this fine tradition of walking the picket line in front of the running club's main office. I will work on making signs and distributing them amongst the membership in good faith. If any runner needs to access the runners strike fund please contact Cherokee State Bank, and tell them I said it's OK if you take a few dollars to tide you over until this thing has blown over.

It's the wind of change my friend, the wind of change.

LBM

New Initiative: No Runner Left Behind

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:19:18 -0400
Subject: RE: Bush Run

My Fellow Runners, This weekend's run has not been scheduled yet. As soon as it is finalized I will let you all know.

Now on to new business. As your president, I would like to announce my new running initiative: “The No Runner Left Behind Act”. I  know some of you are thinking about other failed programs such as Joe Schletty’s Protégé Running program, or Larry Mike’s Dial to Comfort program.

The No Runner Left Behind program is two things:

#1– It will help problem runners with their training to achieve their goal of completing a marathon under six hours.

#2 (and this one is very important) – During the course of a race, should one club member happen upon a struggling club member, the stronger of the two club members should, without asking the fallen club member, aid in whatever way runner #2 seems fit. This has been brought to my attention by several members because of a ugly scene that happened at Grandma's marathon a few year back where several club members passed a struggling club member without helping said club member.

There will be fines levied and points deducted for any runner in violation of this new initiative. I know the fine tradition of this splendid club will shine through once again under my tutelage.

Thank you, your President…..

Rabbit Leads the Fray

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 10:25:44 -0400
To: <>
Subject: Bush Run

Good Morning, Gentlemen.

Once again, Saturday morning's Bush Run went very well for the marathoners. A special thanks to one of our great club members at large, Bernard Mike, for coming out and acting as the rabbit on our first loop. Bern looks to be in marathon shape and some people in the know think he may be lying in the weeds and just might show up at Grandmas. We will be watching with excitement!

Also on a lighter note, our treasurer found some monies stashed in a rainy day fund, and I, as president, took it upon myself to use said monies to reinstate Larry back into the club for the fiscal year. Now this is just a band aid, so don’t anyone get too comfortable. Thank you, everyone, for the wonderful outpouring of support you have shown me on the difficult contraction issue.

Your President………..
P.S. Has anyone seen Winkman?

Bush Run – Earn Points and Fortify Your Résumé!

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2004 14:49:06 -0400
To: <>
Subject: Bush Run

Dear members and honored guests, there will be a Bush Run this coming Saturday morning at 7:00 AM. The length of the run can be determined by those in attendance. The marathon men will be running another 13 miler so come out and run all or parts of this run with your running brethren. It would be nice to see some not-so-familiar faces there on Saturday morning. Remember that you can earn points for coming to a Bush Run. It's easy and fun, not to mention it would look pretty good on a young fella's running résumé.

Your President……..

Because He Is a Founding Father...

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 11:48:29 -0400
Subject: RE: Bush Run

Gentlemen,

As you can see our club member Larry has fallen on hard times and can't get up. Because I am a fair President I think I will give him one more chance at redemption. At no time was it said that he was the one to be contracted. Now I do agree with all of you that he is the likely choice – you have made that perfectly clear. But I think because he is a founding father he should have a chance to go before the tribunal and state his case. Sure he is screwed up but maybe we as a club can help him, I mean that's what this club was founded on.....P.S. Don't let him know about this communiqué. How about a fresca?

Your third term President, Joe Mike

A Koosa to Run This Club!

From: Larry Mike
Date: 13 Apr 2004 10:16:17 -0500
To: Rich Schletty
Subject: Fwd: Bush Run

Since when did Joesif Schletty become vice president and advisor to the bitch runners whining club? And another thing, why is he questioning my association with the state fair? I've been to the state fair, but I'm not lazy. And as far as being flippant, it's been years since I've done flips off the West St. Paul Pool diving board. This so called club needs to be culled out with a koosa reemer. It's full of rotten koosa guts. Cripes, I think a koosa could do a better job running this club.

Larry

So Long, Suckers!

From: Larry Mike
To: Rich Schletty
Date: 13 Apr 2004 10:07:19 -0500
Subject: Re: Bush Run

Dear Mr. Intermediary Man,

Your correspondance with Joe Mike mistakenly was sent to my email address. I take exception to several things in that message, but I have particular angst with regards to our presidents wordage as follows, "brother Larry is welcome back into the running club at any time." I was not appraised to the fact that I had been eliminated from this so called club in the first place. Well let me say this and listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once. I don't even want to be a member of this crummy snobatorium. Running clubs are the greatest waste of real estate anyway. So I would like to thank our president for fostering a nurturing environment for members that have porked up a bit and fallen on hard times. I will part with a famous quote from one of our former club presidents, "SO LONG SUCKERS!".

Larry

Would That Be Interpretive Dance?

From: "Schletty, Joseph J - Eagan, MN"
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 10:00:01 -0500
Subject: RE: Bush Run

Fellow runners,
Would that be interpretive dance? And these hip warts that were mentioned ..... do they impede his stride? Altz I know is, I spoke with Larry yesterday evening and his laissez-faire and flippant attitude is an encumbrance and distraction to our president, Joe Mike and also the club as a hole. Having said that, I move we call for immediate countraction of Larry. If you're not with me then you must be again me.
Have a good day gentlemen,
Joe

Hip Warts

From: Richard Schletty
Sent: Tuesday, April 13, 2004 9:13 AM
To: Joe Mike
Subject: Re: Bush Run

Joe Mike:

You wrote:
> It might help him not be contracted!

Did you mean to say, "It might help him not to be contracted?" Actually, I think it might help Larry not to be contacted. He is taking his ostracism pretty hard. I am trying to make sure he does not get copied into our correspondence or get wind of the proceedings via internet radio or dance. I sent Larry my inspirational Southview Club Fitness essay but he blew it off, saying he could not view the Adobe PDF document. Well, fine. I still like Larry because my affectation is unconditional. Why, you could cut off Larry's legs and hip warts and I'd still like the chap.

Anyway, I hope Larry does throw a party as you have suggested. It would heal all misperceptions and fill my belly with good food and drink.
Richard

Responsive Leader Offers Olive Branch

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 09:27:56 -0400
To: "Richard Schletty"
Subject: RE: Bush Run

Rich, Brother Larry is welcome back into the RUNNING club at any time. It is his choice to join us. Is he with us or against us? It might help him not be contracted! Maybe Larry would like to throw a pizza and beer party and we could work this whole thing out. If not, the world needs ditch diggers, too, you know…….The President

If It Looks Like a Duck...

From: Larry Mike
Reply-To: Larry Mike
Date: 12 Apr 2004 11:07:00 -0500
Subject: Re: Grandmas Marathon Update

Fellow club member Richard,
All of a sudden out of the blue the word contraction is surfacing regarding our running club. I don't know about any of the other members, but I wonder if there is collusion between Joe Mike and Bud Selig, the owner of the Milwaukee Brewers. I would caution all members to be wary of the meeting that was called. The meeting may be a smoke screen to hide the fact that our president, Joe Mike is trying to sell this running club and move it to San Antonio. I am not invited to attend the meeting so I will not be able to protect our interests. Please fellow members watch out for what might be coming down the pike. If it looks like a duck and smells like a duck, it could be a wolf in shining armour. Your brother in runnning, Larry

There will be a secret meeting...

From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2004 10:42:12 -0400
To: <>
Subject: Grandmas Marathon Update

Good morning fellow runners, A 13 mile training run was attempted and completed by club members Joe Schletty, Paul Gubash, Joe Mike. The run went very well in spite of Joe Schletty’s continuous complaining about the chosen course; all three runners finished very strong and training continues to go well. Now on to some very important business, I am sad to report that due to rising fuel costs the war in Iraq and the continued economic down turn the club will be forced to eliminate one member, contraction is something we thought would never happen but as president I must be fiscally responsible. There will be a secret meeting to decide on who is going to be eliminated; all members must attend except Larry. I will be sending out a questioner and dues renewal form look for it in the coming weeks. As always your President Joe Mike.

Rich Weighs In with Fitness Essay
Dateline 4/7/04

Click here to see results of Rich's fitness contest at Southview Athletic Club.

"Ohwa-ta-goo-siam" – Use It to Float, Float, Float
Dateline 3/30/04

From: John Wenker
Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2004 23:20:51 EST
To:
Subject: Ohwa-ta-goo-siam

"Ohwa-ta-goo-siam." There you all have it. I first discovered this phrase in 1987 and used it to distribute my stride, breathing and torso flexion more evenly. If you can chant the phrase every other time your left foot strikes the ground you will float, float, float. Think of your running as dynamic mediation.

Low Point Man Suddenly Motivated, Quotes Chaucer
Dateline 3/29/04
From: Larry Mike
Reply-To: Larry Mike
Date: 29 Mar 2004 10:02:52 -0600
Subject: Re: Training Run

This club has really been showing signs of life. I like what I see, and am suggesting that the club consider getting a national charter. Great achievments are mixed with the ingredients of humble beginnings. (Chaucer circa 1700). A national charter would make the club eligible for funding grants under the Northrup bill. If we do succeed in receiving one of these grants we could finally open up the youth running camp we have always talked about. You know the one where we would give kids from disadvantaged backrounds an oppurtunity to run. I know in the eyes of many it may not sound like much, but I for one look forward to the day when these kids come to the BushRunners running camp to learn how to run. Think and pray about it.

Kazoom Larry

A Spectacular Ten Mile Training Run
Dateline 3/29/04
From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2004 08:52:21 -0500
To: <>
Subject: Training Run

Good Morning Fellow Runners. The ten mile Bush run on Saturday morning was completed by members Joe Schletty, Paul Gubash, Joe Mike. All three finished very strong and the training continues to go well. The Bush run was also attended by fellow member Rich Schletty, who ran a brisk 4 miler. Richard is showing signs of getting fit, so welcome back old boy. As President I would like to thank Richard personally for coming out and supporting the members at large. On a more serious note, John Wenker was rumored to be out on the road somewhere Saturday morning but I will tell you one thing, he wasn’t with us! John, contact me to get your point total corrected. This is the current point total standings for 2004.

Keep up the good work, good luck and good running. Your President, Joe Mike

More Kudos
Dateline 3/22/04.
From: Larry Mike
Date: 22 Mar 2004 14:26:48 -0600
Subject: Re: Human Race

Now this is what I call a club!

Club Members Excited
Dateline 3/22/04.
From: "Mike, Joe"
Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2004 14:55:57 -0500
Subject: Human Race

Good morning fellow runners, The Human Race was a huge success! The Bush runners of St. Paul were represented well at this event. The following chip times were recorded : Club members: Ben Milke 40:56, Joe Mike 42:15, Joe Schletty 44:42, Paul Gubash 45:36. Non-club members: Katie Schletty 44:02, and Andy Gubash rumbling in at 48:51, I would like to thank Katie and Andy for attending and offering their support. The club is off and running toward our goal of Grandma's Marathon. On a serious note, sometime club member John Wenker is being investigated for his no show at this race. If it is discovered that John was, in fact, in town he will be docked 10 points off his total. And if he was out of town he will be docked 5 points. I know this penalty seems harsh but I think it’s fair. Next thing, the next scheduled race is May 2—a half marathon in Wayzata. There is plenty of time to get ready for this event and I expect a better turnout, so register early and train hard. Finally, I would like to thank member Joe Schletty for refreshments in his van after the race and member Ben Milke for shuttling fellow members around town on a goodwill tour of local establishments. We were well received. Keep up your training. There will be a bush run on Saturday morning March 27 at 7:00. See you there—at the bush.
-- Your President Joe Mike

Club Member Excited
Dateline 3/3/04.
From: Schletty, Joseph J
Subject: Re: Race Schedule

This is a wonderful thing. Joe Mike is breathing new life into this club.
I'm excited!
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

The President Has (Finally) Spoken!
Dateline 3/3/04. After getting over the initial shock of actually receiving any sort of correspondence from our big haired president, he charged me with distributing this e-mail for him until he masters e-mail distribution list. If Slow, I mean Joe Schletty is kind enough to forward this message to John 'Weinker', I will drop off a copy to the computerless Ben 'Milke'
– Bern Mike

From: Mike, Joe
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 12:17 PM
Subject: Race Schedule

Good Morning Fellow Runners, The signup time for grandma’s marathon has come and gone and the following members are entered into the 2004 grandma’s marathon, Joe Schletty, John Weinker. Paul Gubash, Joe Mike, Ben Milke, Good luck to you all the mightier than mighty marathon men! This is a very strong field of Bush runners with lofty ambisions.Next thing, look for the 2004 race schedule coming out soon. The first mandatory Presidential run will be on Mar. 21, the human race 8K. I expect all club runners to attend this race regardless of if you are training for grandmas or not. There will be a bush run this Saturday at 7:00 come out and support your fellow members as they train for the big grandma’s marathon. Thank you and god speed your President …………………Joe Mike

On the Eve of the January Presidential Gala
From: Larry Mike
Date: 06 Jan 2004 09:26:03 -0600
Subject: [none]
Gentlemen I am concerned about the proposed 21 gun salute in honor of our new inductee. There has been no orientation or training regarding this manuver. As safety commisioner for the club I am concerned of gunfire erupting in violence. I would like backround checks on all members who will be handleing firearms. I would also like a quick inservice by Joey S on the workings and history of the 21 gun salute. I don't think this is to much to ask in lieu of security issues facing our club today. I also think we should follow the 21 gun salute with the Canadian National Anthem. Your thoughts are welcome. Larry

From: Larry Mike
Date: 08 Jan 2004 12:19:17 -0600
Subject: [none]
Boy am I excited about the big upcoming weekend. I went out and bought a brand new runnning suit. The last one I bought was in 1992 when I lived on Delaware. Anyway, I am looking forward to good fellowship with my fellow Bushers. Wisconsin here we come! PS I guess there will be a stop at the Wisconsin visitors bureau in Minashwashwish incase anyone wants to buy souveniers for loved ones back home. Last year I bought a full size teepee made out of muckluck furs. It was a nice gift, I gave it to my neighbor as a going away gift when she moved in next door. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

From: Larry Mike
Date: 08 Jan 2004 11:28:06 -0600
Subject: [none]
I am offering the use of my vehicle as a mode of transportation for members of the Bush Runners Club. It's a 1994 Capric Classic Station wagon. It is maroon in color with wood grain sides. If you haven't seen it I think you'll agree its pretty slick looking. I especially like the sleek arodynamic style that not only makes it attractive to look at but adds to the gas economy. Upon occasion I have been able to achieve 25 mpg. And that was with a full load and five adults. It's a real comfort inside too! You'll enjoy the ride as you settle into the maroon crushed valour seats. And don't worry about bottoming out in this baby. Last fall I installed cargo coils. No load is to much for this baby. So settle back and enjoy a road trip the way its meant to be. See the USA in a Chevrolet. And one more thing I was thinking about. How about starting a new tradition. Lets start our weekend the Christian way. Lets all meet at Holy Family for mass Friday morning. I'll call Father Koosa and have him rope off the first four pews for running members, friends and family. If Jesus was a runner I'm sure he would do the same. And then we'll sponsor a breakfast. I'll brine the chibis, and zitoon. If someone else would like to bring the bunadooda, and yuchknee that would be great. Please get back to me as soon as you can. I think Richey Gubash would be willing to pick up some of the fellas that live in the outlying areas. And remeber introduce a kid to running.
Sergent at Arms, Larry

From: Larry Mike
Date: 08 Jan 2004 09:10:29 -0600
Subject: runners transport
Bush Runners, I would like to inform you that my vehicle, (1994 Chev Caprice Classic Wagon), is available to transport members of the running club to this weekends presidential gala at White Ash Wisconsin. I think you'll like it. It's maroon and wood grain. It has that classic sleek style that offers a smooth ride no matter what the terrain. And gas mileage? You bet. This baby has gotten as high as 26 mpg on the highway. Granted thats ideal conditions, but still thats not bad for a full size wagon loaded down with gear and five adults. Inside, maroon crushed valour cushions your tired achey bones. It's the perfect ride for late night excursions up into the Wisconsin country side. So think it over. Pray about it. One other thing. And I'm just throwing this out there for all of us to kick around. What do you think if we start the weekend off by attending mass at Holy Family Church Friday morning. I would be more than happy to run around and pick everybody up. I can call Father Koosa ahead of time and see if he would rope off the first four pews for the running club, (just incase we bring the wives children, and other friends). I know this is a new idea and last minute at that, but nothing ventured nothing gained eh? Please email me with your thoughts and dreams. Sergent at Arms, Larry

From: "Schletty, Joseph J - Eagan, MN"
Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 11:44:56 -0600
Subject: Re: Keefic inta!
I got this 3 times (not 9 times) mayby we should have an emergency meeting to discuss departure times. Excitement fills the air. Thanks for your car offer Query. You're a good cousin despite Richards comments.
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

From: Richard Schletty
Date: Thu, 08 Jan 2004 17:58:33 -0600
Subject: Re: thoughts
Larry: You were most eloquent today. I don't know how you think of 80% of the things you write and say. It's a beautiful thing. Funny, off-the-wall, disconnected, totally unexpected. Keep up the fine discharge of cranial phlegm. I love it, brother. Fr. Koosa???
Richard Schletty

Off-Season Chatter

On Tuesday, November 4, 2003 11:48 PM, Richard Schletty wrote:
Boys, I need fresh, new, insightful articles and photos to liven up a dormant Bushrunners web site! Can any of you boys write about or take pictures of yourself in interesting situations and venues? Does Brother Ben have an e-mail address or is he still writing letters on wax paper with a Crayola? No one talks about denatured alcohol much these days. What's with that? -- Rich

From: Larry Mike
Date: 05 Nov 2003 08:36:21 -0600
Subject: Re: Bushrunners update
Rich, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Oh wrong scene. Pay no attention to Joey Schletty. I like the idea that you are attempting to jump start the Bush Runners Society again. All this club needs is a little nudge and away we go. Joey Schletty has always been a blight to this fine organization. He didn't feel right to me from the start, but because he is your brother I thought maybe we would give him a try. I have regretted it ever since. Please continue your efforts. You have my full support. Maybe Joey needs some denatured alcohol where the sun don't shine. Best regards, cousin Larry

From: Larry Mike
Date: 05 Nov 2003 14:25:22 -0600
Subject: Re: Bushrunners update
As former president of the Bush Runners Running Society you have my
permission to use my comments and quotes on the web site. Mr. President Larry

TC Marathon 2003

Click on links to see polaroids:

Joe Schletty
Nice photos, Joe, but why did you cross the finish line three times?

Rich Schletty
The truth hurts: I am awfully fat! Less surging these days.

Johnny Wenker and substitute runner???
Hey, how come that gal is wearing your bib, Johnny? A little relief running? Please explain.

Marta Wenker
Marta finishes what she starts!

Peter "Knee Cap" Butler
Peter Butler running with a broken knee. Really! Ouch!

Richy

Have a Blessed Christmas, Everyone
Dateline 12/16/02. Click on link for Richy's Christmas rendition of Suo Gan (a traditional Welsh lullaby).

Birthday greetings to Rich the day after TCM
Dateline 10/1/02. Rich Schletty celebrated his 50th birthday the day after completing TCM in 6 hours and 6 minutes (ChampionChip time). Check out these pre- and post-birthday greetings:

Twin Cities Marathon 2002
Dateline 9/29/02. Race results for Twin Cities Marathon, run on September 29, 2002, available here.

Go, Johnny, Go! (in other words, don't stop).
Dateline 9/29/02. Let's issue a big round of applause for John Wenker who finished his 20th Twin Cities Marathon in 21 starts. Oh, I'm sorry. I've brought back up a tiny blemish in Johnny's otherwise illustrious road race history. Well, if you must know the rest of the story, read these Minneapolis Star Tribune articles:

Grandma's 2002
Dateline 7/8/02. Let's all get back to daily walks mixed with light jogging. Larry, will you join me? Thank you. -- Richard.
For Grandma's Marathon race results, click here.

Everbody likes Richy
Dateline 6/13/02. Rich left a message for Larry to call in order to have a serious, knee-knocking, heart-to-heart talk about Larry's running game (or lack thereof). Larry called back, left a message, and skillfully dodged the issue by heaping praise upon Rich for his melodious (or was it malodorous?) voice, enthusiasm, professionalism and likeability. Click here to listen in: larry_everybodylikesrichy8.wav (360 K sound file).

Out of step
Dateline 6/12/02. Larry, I sob uncontrollably when I replay in my mind the words you penned not so long ago:

Gentlemen, join me, won’t you? Create in your own minds a spirit of dash and reckleness...Let’s make this Grama’s the best ever by professing your allegance and self indulgence just like we did when this great running club was founded so many years ago. [see full letter below]

Where are you, my friend? Did something kill your dash and reckleness? Please rejoin the alliance and help yourself. Don't be a floundering father. I mean, look at me! Am I not a man hewn from a lump of fatty tissue, forged in the lathe of heaven, finding renewed vigor through the discipline and enjoyment of road running? Today, I saw your brother Ben chugging down Dodd Road like a well oiled machine. He was happy, adjusted, alert and upbeat. Running is doing that for him. Out of your slump, runningmanlar! I command you to rise from the ashheap of nihilism to find, once again, the glory of the chase.
-- Richard

ACEY-DEUCEY
Dateline 5/21/2002. Joe Schletty's amazing golf course feat. Click here for the story.

BEN'S LOOP SYSTEM OF RUNNING
Dateline 4/30/02. Ben checks in with his usual incomprehensible jibberish. Click here to listen to a sound file: ben-loopsystem.wav

WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR?
Dateline 4/15/02. Joe checks in with his usual incomprehensible jibberish. Click here to listen to a sound file: joe_going nuts.wav

APRIL FUSS
Dateline 4/1/02. And a good morning to you gentlemen. Here it is, April fuss. What plans do you have for not only today, but for the rest of the running year. I have a swell idea. Why not commit yourself to a better life by incorporating running into your life as I have.

Not only is it fun and worthwhile, but it helps you to feel great. You don't have to go out for a ten mile run every day, and you don't have to set a blilstering pace. Just do as I do dial to comfort let your inibitions go and have a ball. I am available for anyone who needs pointers on how to get going. But let me tell you the first step is telling yourself I am a runner, I want to suceed. It's that easy. Well by for now. Enjoy the day.

PS would someone give me Joe and Chuck Mike's email address.

Respectivley submitted for your approval.

Running Lar.

EASTER MORN
Dateline 3/31/02. Good morning running bretheren. On this the moring of the miracle I want to take time to say I am greatful for the companionship of this running club, and the miracles of my own that I have been able to experience.

A miracle of such magnitude was realized yesterday 3/30/02, when I ran 10 miles. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking did I do any walking. To that I say nay. Oh sure some would construe what they saw as a shuffling walk, but rest assured it was truly a miracle on asphalt as I completed the ten mile ediface at the tennis courts on Baker and Cherokee.

I would like to take this oppurtinity to say thank you. This is what this club was founded on. May the peace and tranquility that comes in this holy time be estowed upon you and your families. I remain respectfully yours,

Running Lar.

FRANCOIS FLUFF'S RALLY CRY
Dateline 3/28/02. Perhaps there are those out there in the running club assembledge that no longer care about goals and physical maturation. Well, gentlemen, I for one will not lay down so easily. No, not I. I will stand tall and straight and look running diversity in the eye and say I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.
   You know darn well what I'm talking about. I'm talking about rising up out of the ashes of winter and saying, "Look out, Grama's Marathon, here come the Bushrunners! YEAH!"
   Gentlemen, join me, won't you? Create in your own minds a spirit of dash and reckleness that became the rallying cry for that now immortal French farter, Francois Fuff, shortly before he performed a triple flutter blast at the world championships in Belgrade in 1883, and then dropped dead.
   Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. From now until the weekend of Grama's marathon the Bushrunners will meet at various locations around the east metro. Plan to be a member of the running mix. Let's make this Grama's the best ever by professing your allegance and self indulgence just like we did when this great running club was founded so many years ago.
   From this day forward I make no attacks on my fellow runners. I offer only support and positive mental imaging to all concerned. If we look to the bylaws established in 1988 I think we'll find the answers to what ails the group of runners. I welcome your further thoughts and support on the issue of our running prowess.
   Respectfully submitted for your approval, I remain your running brother, Larry

HEAD GAME
Dateline 3/3/02. Richard, I like what's going on inside your head. I also liked the way you pushed yourself through the three mile run last Saturday. Keep it up. You my friend are a true inspiration. Cousin Larry.

A FARM FRESH START
Dateline 3/3/02. An E-mail from Joe Mike to Fellow Bushrunners.
Hello everyone, This is your Prisident speaking. I would first off like to thank every one for there wonderful support on kicking off this great running season, I know it will be a succesfu one for all our memberage. Now let me get to the heart of the matter, Larry Mike!!! We must all gather around he and try to rid him of his demons. He is mean spirited and in the words of former presidend Richard we all want the old Larry back" no pun entended" non taken. He has nothing to do with what this club is or was founded on. I single out Larry because he has the most pressing needs of our wounderful club as a hole!!!!!!!!!!! Next let me talk about Richie, this former president has heart but he runs like a damn ape, we must as a fratrurnity of running brothers help him over come, he shall over come, he shall over come some day, lord willing. During this season of lent let us each in our own way make a novena for brother Rich and help ! hem make it to the finish line at grandmas before the 6 hour dead line, with our help I think he will be ameanible to this goal, good luck Rich and dont be afarid to ask for help, also dont be a stranger ok? Next Joey Schletty, well what can I say about this running fenom, he stands alone or he stands with others, it really dosent matter, what matters is how much money we can collect for the children of Mother Bastile [please click here], I know this is a lofty goal of Joeys and he wouldnt wan me to go on talking about him when there are more pressing needs. His vigelence is note worthy, sure, but his is a mighter than mightie calling dont ask me to explain just ask him for your self, good luck Joe in your new indever, and really great what you did in the past. Now I would like to talk about bern a little bit, on our first Saturday morning run bern seems to be the only one in shape.Once he gets over his tendenites and his struggles with alochol he could be super just super and once again supper. What a great year he is haveing with the new addition to his family and all I think I speak for the hole club when I say have fun, stay healthy, take a walk on the wild side, exprence live as it was ment to be, but bern above all be safe, long live the king, also dont forget about the kids collage fund. Benny Benny Benny where the hell are you? You may friend are our only real hope for a mettle at the next olimpics. Just kidding! Ben if you would ask the club for help with the house payment i'm sure we could think of some creative ways to raise money, just ask old friend. Now about your running, why dont you put the silly notion of breaking my record out of your little mind, Joey is right when he says you are a train rick waiting happen , he dosent mean anything by it so keep the faith, and enjoy your new hone and retire with dignity. Now more about myself, I am right on track for come back runner of the year, I know yo! u all think I am fat, no dont hide it I know what you are saying, well dont kid your selfs I am just putting on a big front, pushing the envelope so to speak, I will be a insperation to you all. Once I get on the Chet Atkins diet I will be picken and grinninn. There is a very slime chance that Joe s. will beat me at grandmas. Also Joey said he would be happy to make up a new set of golf club for anyone who requests them, free of charge, now thats real nice Joe, do a little something nice for youself while your at it. Now more about myself, I'm strong I have fortitude, I'm driven, now if I can only loose the few extra pounds I put on I will be ready to go. In closeing I would like to say I think this is a good club, it's alot of fun, and a real good thing, with the help of you and others we will have a real good time and and continue to suckseed in our goals not only for our selfs but to others, when things come together and we work as a team we will stride to new heights, an! d strive for greatness.let alone work withen our means and strenthen our resolve unparreled and oncompremised wourld with out amen. thank you for your time and generosity as always your president; Joe Mike

Click here for cleaned up version of letter (edited by Who-Appointed-You-Editor-in-Chief, Rich Schletty)

WINTER OF LASSITUDE...SPRING SPRINT...WHAT MOTIVATES US
Dateline 3/2/02.  Joe Mike finally emerged from verbal seclusion to lead the club in its traditional 3-mile "Spring Sprint" on Saturday morning, March 2. Our run began at the bushes at Cherokee Park and ended there. Larry, Bern, Joe S., Rich and Joe M. enjoyed the crisp winter air and each other's company as we made our way to Somerset School and back at a respectable 11-minute/mile pace (except for Rich who fell off the pace).
     After the run, we consumed a hearty breakfast of waffles and farm fresh eggs. We whipped out a training regimen that will put us in shape for Grandma's Marathon in June. Weighing in on Joe's digi-accu-scale, we have the following starting weights to report: Rich 281, Joe S. 238, Joe M. 234, Larry 215, Bernie 188.5. We'll be posting our weight-loss progress as the weeks go by.
     So we're off and running now after a winter of lassitude. What motivated us to get up off our haunches to pursue phyical excellence on such a cold, dreary day? It was no less than the inspiring words of our new president, Joe Mike, who laid down this message a couple days prior to Spring Sprint. Joe Mike's peppy talk (360K WAV sound file).

JOE DOES A TURNABOUT AND RALLIES ROUND RICH
Dateline 2/25/02. Hey Pauly, did you get you your lady's application for Grandma's Half Marathon sent off last week? Hope you guys get in. Either way we're gonna have a blast this year. My brother Rich even signed up for the Marathon this year, even though we didn't initially react positively to the idea. But lately, based on his resolve and enthusiasm we are beginning to rally around him. That's what this club was founded on!!!
Later, Sledge Heggie

LARRY DISSES JOE'S NEGATIVISM
Dateline 2/16/02. Dear Richard, I read this stupid letter Joey sent you. It was racked with negativism. I did not say you would never see a finish line again. I support you, I applaud you, and I have one thing to say to you. In the words of Adrianne, "Win, Win!" See the finish line, be the finish line. —Cousin Larry

JOHNNY WENKER CHECKS IN WITH SUPPORT FOR RICH
Dateline 2/15/02. Richard, don't let Joe's negativitis get you down. It is only February—the G race is four months away. You can be svelte, but be honest about it........no liposuction!!
  -J.D. Wenker

JOE S. CHALLENGES CLUB'S WEAKEST PORK LINK
Dateline 2/14/02. Dick ... Were you out running last night? I thought I felt the ground shaking!!! Shape ... Smape, you'll never get there again. That fat has been with you too long. It's as hard as dad's old petrified potato and not likely to break up and melt off without some major help ... such as dynamite or a coosa reamer. Ben says "R E T I R E ,  M A N"!
Take the buy out for God sake! The club wants to separate itself from you if you continue making a mockery of what was once a glorious and proud club. You want to make it a smub and drag it into the mudhole. Maybe it's time for a serious picnic table discussion with your cousin Larry. Or maybe it's just time we give you a concussion with the damn thing!! No matter what you think, Joe Mike believes that you need to break yourself down, regroup and then rebuild. And he says this could take years, not weeks as you think. Larry and Bern don't think you'll ever see a Marathon finish line again, except as a spectator. Me, I don't know what to think Rich. You're my brother, so I have to pull for you. But I'm afraid, because of your fragile physical and mental state (as John W puts it), if I pull too hard, something is gonna break. Then the next thing you know I'll be pushing ............ your wheelchair!! Sorry this note is a bit on the negative side....but keep the faith.
Your dear brother, Joe

CLUB WANTS TO "BUY OUT" RICH'S TICKET TO GRANDMA'S
Dateline 2/13/02.  Rich signed up for Grandma's Marathon a couple weeks ago. He's not good to go...not yet, anyway. He needs to get back in shape after months of personal physical neglect. After asking fellow Bushrunners for training support and advice, Rich received the following phone message from Joe: Grandma's Buyout (248 K sound file)

QUEST FOR PHYSICAL EXCELLENCE AIDED BY CLOSURE OF PINK TAVVY
Dateline 1/13/02. The Annual Presidential Lake Cabin Extravaganza. Club members once again left the comforts of home and made their way to Lower White Ash Lake near Amery, Wisconsin, to carve out plans for self-improvement in the face of advancing years and gross sentimentality. Highlights of the weekend included duck walking, steak grilling, a casino tour, and best of all, the election of Joe "Motivating" Mike as our new president. Outgoing president, Rich Schletty, agreed to continue not doing much with the Bushrunners web site. Joe Schletty might have run against Joe Mike but having two Joes to vote for got too confusing and we decided to have just one Joe run unopposed. Worked out fine for Larry Mike, Ben Mike and Bern Mike who have better things to do with their spare time. Larry was accused by brother Ben of being afraid of little flying bats. Larry staunchly defended himself when it was suggested he sign up for bat therapy at the Y. Rich won the grand prize at the Karaoke contest Saturday night -- a stuffed turtle.